The confidence from before
Disintegrated in an instant
In the presence of my father
The one who holds absolute
dominance over me
The one who leads and supports
the family
I try to speak but my words
fail me
The constricted throat
squeezes my explanations
I manage to mumble out
incoherent sentences
Words returned in an angry
tone
Demanding me to speak up
I feel tears about to come out
I put in more effort to raise
my voice
He replies in a thunderous
voice that pierces my ears
I look down in terror wondering
Why my quiet voice is referred
to as a bad habit.
Why do I fear him?
Is it because he scolds me
with words of severity?
But then I realized he was
only trying to correct my wrongdoings
To make sure I don’t make the
same mistakes twice
As the harsh words slaps my
face multiple times
I can feel it
Behind every word is love
He is disciplining me out of
love
But then I wonder
Would he discipline me the
same way if he didn’t love me?
This poem really captures your emotions as you go through this experience. I have gone through similar experiences multiple times, so I know your pain. I think that the reason you feel on the verge of tears is not because he is severely disciplining you, but because you are sad that you disappointed him. Bonds between family members are extremely weird things.
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